It was the summer of 2012. I had just graduated with a degree in Bible & Theology and had accepted a Student Pastor position. I was confident and expecting to see God shake our community. It was time for our first student service, and I needed the message to be perfect. I spoke on the Biblical mandate and spiritual/emotional necessity for community. I began with the Trinity and meticulously worked my way through the entirety of scripture. To my surprise, I received nothing but blank stares from the students and questions of confusion from the small group leaders. I quickly realized that I didn’t know everything I thought I knew about ministry and would need some help. I needed to be reminded of some things and I needed someone who could coach me. Here are a few of the best tools I was given.

The Best Advice I Was Given When I Started In Ministry

It was the summer of 2012. I had just graduated with a degree in Bible & Theology and had accepted a Student Pastor position. I was confident and expecting to see God shake our community. It was time for our first student service, and I needed the message to be perfect. I spoke on the Biblical mandate and spiritual/emotional necessity for community. I began with the Trinity and meticulously worked my way through the entirety of scripture. To my surprise, I received nothing but blank stares from the students and questions of confusion from the small group leaders. I quickly realized that I didn’t know everything I thought I knew about ministry and would need some help. I needed to be reminded of some things and I needed someone who could coach me. Here are a few of the best tools I was given. 

Pursue a posture of serving over a platform of significance

When I first accepted the call into ministry, I knew I had to begin right away. I went to our Senior Pastor, who happened to be my dad, and shared the good news. I was confident he was going to be ecstatic and put me up on the platform immediately. Instead, he asked me if I would begin cleaning the bathrooms and the lobby on Saturday nights. No platform, no crowd, not even a hint of significance. He sensed my hesitation and told me that if I was interested in anything other than serving God and the people I’d been called to serve then ministry wasn’t for me.

Protect your family by prioritizing them in your calendar

My first full-time job in ministry was as a student pastor. I loved being at the schools, planning events, and spending time pastoring and connecting with the students. The busier I was, the more I felt like I was doing “God’s work”. It doesn’t take a genius to imagine the damage this did to my marriage. A mentor of mine shared that if my family truly was a priority then I needed to put them in my calendar first rather than giving them the scraps. Now my weekly rhythms are filled with dedicated family time. There are certain evenings and weekends dedicated exclusively to my family and I don’t apologize for it. We even plan family vacations and weekends away with my wife a full year in advance. My family always gets my best because I fill my calendar with them first.

Promise to become the best version of yourself

I stepped into ministry as social media was booming. Everywhere I looked it felt like my peers where absolutely crushing it and their ministries were exploding. Maybe my personality and ministry style weren’t good enough to keep up? At a minimum I should trade in my fit for skinny jeans, baggy t-shirts, hipster glasses, and some Jordans. I wasn’t fixated on becoming the best version of the man God created me to be. I wanted to be someone else. A mentor of mine shared that God won’t bless the man I pretend to be, but he will bless the man he created me to be. He made me promise to always be growing into the best version of myself that the world has ever seen.

Bonus: The One Thing I WISH I Was Told When I Started In Ministry

I was naïve enough to think that if I was a good leader, I would never have some of the issues I saw in ministry. Boy was I wrong! I’ve made mistakes, I’ve been falsely accused, I’ve had my words taken out of context, I’ve read numerous accusatory emails, and I’ve seen my marriage and my family come under attack. As my heart began to harden, I wondered if any of this was worth it? Was I even called to ministry? But there are three truths every person in ministry must accept. People are broken, I’m not perfect, and that’s ok. If there weren’t broken people with the ability to hurt others, then the church wouldn’t be needed. As hard as I pray and as many leadership books as I read, I’m still going to make mistakes. None of us are ever going to be able to get away from these truths. But at the end of the day both are meant to remind us of our need for a Savior. We must forgive people, we must try our best, and above all we must live under the grace of Christ.